So I was told in Cleveland that the only way we would have a child was through an egg donor. Someone very close to me offered her eggs. I will always love her for this selfless offer more than she will ever know! But she has her own child to think about and there are health risks and it's a long way to Cleveland for her to be monitored. So I regretfully declined. If anything happened to her I would never have forgiven myself!
In actuality we have several choices. We can drop the whole idea of being parents. We can adopt from an agency. Private adoptions have never worked out for us. Or I can suck it up and do what I have to do.
We have never been opposed to adopting. I know lots of adopted kids and 2 of them are very close to our hearts!
However....now I will tell you a secret. Sam was married once before when he was young. The first time he went to his first wife's house for their first date is when he discovered that she had a six month old baby. They dated six months, got engaged, got married six months later and then got divorced six months after that. In Sam's heart he was that child's father for almost 2 years. When they got divorced he had no legal rights to the child for visitation. I can honestly say it almost destroyed him. The thought that we could adopt a baby and they had 30 days to take the baby back was more than he could bear.
If the baby was genetically his then no one could take it from him.
Cleveland Clinic set me up with an egg donor agency called Compassionate Beginnings. They have a web site and you go on the site and pick your baby's genetic mother. They have brief bio's, health info and pictures.
I have never been on a dating site. Wait I tell a lie. I have been on Adultfriendfinder but that is a completely different hysterical story I will save for another time. Sam was busy so I got on the site by myself. 30 women and we have to pick one. I feel like I'm on the bachelor and only one of them will get a rose. Who will have the privilege of being my baby mama? Well technically they suggested we pick three and rank them. I feel like I'm in a meat market...or maybe this is how men feel when they judge women? Hmmmmm?
I had done a lot of research and some people spend years looking for the "right" donor. I however am not so picky. If she looks slightly like me I'm okay with it. I do have one requirement. If I am going to "genetically engineer" my baby I want baby mama to be taller than me. I am 5 feet tall in bare feet, okay technically I am 5' 1/4" but that last 1/4 feels like bragging.
I find her in 20 minutes.
Sam sits down with me and we both search the site. Now it really feels like we're polygamists finding a new "sister-wife". We both agree on her as our number one pick. We shuffled choices two and three around. But we are dead set on her. She is Russian and Irish on her father's side and Irish and Czechoslovakian on her mothers. She is a junior in college and she had just signed up for the agency two weeks before. I also accidentally find out her name. Her name is Allie...and she is 5'6".
